Tuesday, May 29, 2007,5/29/2007 01:18:00 am
Dilema
P.E.S.S.I.M.I.S.T.I.C
yea.. pessimistic indeed..
that's the word to decribe me..
perhaps there's another..
S.T.U.B.B.O.R.N
yea.. stubborn too..
if u're to ask me why I say so..
u'll know as u read on..
before my Mid Year Exams, I planned alot..
but.. 2 weeks before it..
I feel that I'll fail..
it's to an extant that I told myself to give up..
the last day of my Mid Year was horrid..
I wasn't happy at all..
in fact, I was feeling so down..
it was just the start..
soon.. time flies.. results were released..
I failed every single subject..
I appeared strong to everyone..
but inside me.. I was devastated..
I couldn't cheat myself anymore..
I know I'm sad.. I just refused to show it..
I just wanne be the happy guy around..
if that's isn't enough..
I gotta somehow fall out with someone..
I was reluctant to speak my heart out..
but.. I thought it will be better..
however.. it wasn't..
it triggered another nightmare..
once again.. I tried to appear strong..
inside me.. things were falling apart..
bits by bits.. I start to feel the pain..
it simply crashes down on me..
finally.. I told her..
but.. it's already too late..
whatever done is done..
I just need to find someone to speak to..
but.. I'm disappointed..
no one seems to understand me..
friends seems so distant..
can't get anyone to speak to..
what good does it bring?
N.O.T.H.I.N.G
yes.. nothing..
it brought me even more pain..
excruciating pain..
I feel like giving up on everything..
academic, friendship,family..
I just couldn't take it..
church camp is just around the corner..
counting down.. 3 more days..
I'm holding an important position..
I wanted to do my job well..
but with everything that took place..
I doubt myself..
am I really that good?
N.O
I reckoned that's my answer..
I searched within my heart..
it's so numb..
it's 1.45am now..
I'm still typing my blog..
holiday lesson is on for tomorrow..
I'm going to skip..
perhaps.. I should skip school for next term..
I don't think I'm ready..
perhaps.. I've disappointed so many people..
everything seems so purpose-less now..
I do things for the sake of doing..
I've no one to rant on..
a lonely guy on his bed..
staring in blankness.. typing what I feel..
the room is dark..
light emitting from my laptop luminated the room..
a small lamp is next to my bed..
surrounded by pin-drop silence..
perhaps.. perhaps I shouldn't..
whatever it is right now..
I'm in an dilema..
>>and i live just for you my lord.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007,5/23/2007 08:48:00 am
MYE - Failed
sigh..
got back to school today after a day of MC..
but faced with bad news..
was told that I failed all my MYE..
well.. at least passed bio..
but no use..
cos need to pass chem in order to pass..
it's combined science..
blogging away in the com lab..
slacking the rest of the day..
super bored !!!
>>and i live just for you my lord.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007,5/15/2007 11:23:00 pm
Wonderful Birthday Celebration
just got home from a fun-filled day out
had lunch with crys & her frenz
met up with them at Bugis' Swensens
it's rather hilarious experiences
dining with 3 girls
what can you expect afterall?
departed at about 5pm
went to TKA for a short while
managed to catch this stitch soft-toy speaker
(van, now u know where it came from)
make a bad decision to take 851 to AMK
thus dropped off after Sim Lim
managed to hijack a cab despite it's peak hour
reached AMK Hub later than expected
arranged to have dinner with van
(crys, now u know who I meet with)
she got me a present, secretively wrapped
in a big NIKE box and blue ribbon
refused to tell me what's the content
asked me to open it while we were eating
gave her a surprised reaction
bought me a Black G2000 Shirt
still tell me it's not shirt when I asked her
Van, u're a gd lier man!
well, I'm really thankful for the present
plus the special birthday card u've made
guess u saw my reaction
I really never expect it
have yet to read it, but will read soon =)
went to meet my customer after that
finally got my print server off my hands
not much people know how useful it is
sold it for $90
the customer gave me $20 more
as my birthday present =_="
first time having such experience
he told me that I'm quite an entrepreneur
encouraged me to move further in corporate gift
cool right?
received another surprise after I'm done
steph suddenly pop out from no where
got a slice of cake for me
it's part of van's ploy
the full plan failed, but I'm more than happy
once again, she saw my surprised look
well, I'm really surprised
head toward Jubilee's Zone X
decided to claim my birthday $10 play value
spent it on those catchers
it's rather hilarious
couldn't get the Chips Ahoy! for steph
despite numerous attempt by me and van
finally got it before we left
on my last $0.49 in my card
now it's back to AMK Hub
van's getting durian for her parents
was contemplating between durain puff and fruit
finally got the boxed fruit from FairPrice Xtra
didn't walk ard much after that
it's already about 10pm
decided to sent them home by cab
we waited for the new hyundai taxi
the ride was slightly smoother
but the interior was rather good
finally got home at about 10.30pm
I've enjoyed myself today alot
a big thank you to those who've make it a enjoyable birthday =)
>>and i live just for you my lord.
Monday, May 14, 2007,5/14/2007 10:59:00 pm
Birthday Eve
lets see.. my last entry was in Mar..
which make it.. 2 mths?
well.. 1 reason I didn't wanne blog is becos..
I'm getting lazy.. yes.. L.A.Z.Y !
somehow the lazy bug caught me..
it's just another 45mins to my birthday..
but here I am..
typing such a emo post in my blog..
people count-down to their birthdays..
whereas I hope the clock will stop..
I dunno why.. just that I dun look forward to it..
perhaps it's the MYE period..
perhaps becos I'm already old..
well.. 18 is old to me..
used to being called uncle on the street..
being called 'sir' instead of 'ah boy'
age does have a price to pay..
doesn't it?
well.. my purpose of this post is no purpose..
yupz.. u didn't see wrongly..
I'm just so sianz now..
no mood to study for tml's paper..
it's Maths and POA, mind u..
those who know me well knows I hate numbers..
except those printed on notes of cos..
perhaps those on pay cheques too..
but well.. other than that.. it's a taboo to me!
bleah!!!
I'm going to force myself to sleep before midnight..
before the sms starts flooding in..
before I even need to count-down 8hrs
that's to my examination start..
I just want to wake up ltr..
realising it's already wednesday..
cos there's no school..
but yet.. I dun wan Wednesday to come either..
Thursday maybe? no no no.. Friday?
arghs.. why can't it be 21st May tml ?
at least I'll have something to plan for then..
sigh..
church camp's round the corner..
anticipating plenty of logistic meeting...
but these aren't causing my moodswings..
it's random..
oh yes.. it's 11.17pm as of my HP now..
guess I'll simply log off..
-delusionED teenager-
>>and i live just for you my lord.
